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First Love
poems

When I sit in fields serene,
And gaze at pretty flowers,
When my mind is still, at ease,
And all in restful state,...
I love you, I think
and your face is stuck to my mind
when I close my eyes
Even when I stare outside....
my heart is always torn
don't know where I belong
but you saved me from myself
You gave me your everything....
I dont know what to do, tears streaming down my face. I thought a made the right decision. Moving away from everything I knew and loved for a man. The father of my child. But the thought of you my lost love, is neverending. I wanted to do the right thing. I can't lie to myself anymore. I've got to figure out what's going on inside this head of myn. I've tried. I'm gone, I'm here, your there. I changed my mind, it's too late to turn back time. Though your out of sight my lost love, your never out of my mind. You've found someone else now, it's too late for us. I've lost you. I thought I was doing what was best. I need you. Is it too late? Please say we can make this work. I have done so much to mess this up, now I want to make it right. I don't know what I can do. I would wait forever for you my lost love. Three hours it's been since I talked to you, 3 months before that. The feelings pushed into the back of my mind. They just came right back, like a flood gate had opened. All the same. All wanting you. Missing you. Needing you to be mine. I shouldn't have left it all behind. I'm so in love with you. I'm here now, with a man I married and my son. But I know your the one. I can't hurt this man. But I have to be true to how I feel. What should I do my lost love? When is the right time? I dont want to regret my decision, and I dont want to hurt my husband. But I have held these feeling back for three years, and still come the tears. At night when everyone is asleep. I come out and listen to things that remind me of you and look at your pictures, and remember your smell and your touch and how you feel. We were together once, for so long. How could I have messed this up? I need you. I barely sleep, I feel like such a bad person. But you can't help who has your heart. And you, my lost love, have it. My whole heart.Behind This Mask - (by C'Lande Stines)
She stares deep pass this plaster I wear,
Into the eyes thats stares back behind this mask,
A mask so thick, permanent upon this face
This face i hate, this face of mines, ...
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