Wedding Vows(Romeo&Juliet)Criticism!

ASSIGNMENT -- Write Romeo's and Juliet's wedding vows (a creative idea would be to write them as a Shakespearean Sonnet --14 lines). Help me, please?

--Romeo's Wedding Vow--

There's love in the sky.

Come take my hand,

And together will we fly,

Never again to touch the land.

The love will we touch

And higher shall we soar.

Keep a hand to clutch

This love to keep forever-more.

To-day, by the Father, we unite.

This day is my dream come true.

Everything in my life is right

Because I will become one with you.

I cannot live with you not in my life,

So I stand here to ask of you to be my wife.

--Juliet's Wedding Vow--

Hand holding hand,

Love's wings will let us soar.

You will eternally love me and

I will adore you more.

Let us touch the love divine

So that I will always hold

Your heart in my hands - and you, mine -

To cherish till we grow old.

This is our blessed wedding day,

And not even death will do us part.

May the Father unite us without end, I pray,

And so you shall always have my heart.

I pray with all my heart and soul

That you and I forever remain whole.

How do you think I did? =] I'd like your suggestions for improvements. Constructive criticism is VERY much appreciated. Thank you! =]